Formerly Food Addicted #2 - A Day in the Life

So, unfortunately the past week has been full of binges. It's so embarrassing. But, I still believe that one day this will be history...a part of my former life.

My weight is up to 266 now. The good news is that I know it will go back down to 260 if I can just make it a few days without a binge. Though I am sure binge eating disorder plays out differently for people, here is an example of what it looks like for me.

The day started out well. Eggs and an orange for breakfast. Sausage and peppers for lunch. For me it is usually evening when the insatiable desire to devour strikes. I'm usually not even hungry at the time. Still, there is this beckoning that won't let me go. So, I give in. I generally only keep healthy foods in my house, but the binge "requires" junk. My first stop was the grocery store to get cupcakes. I was hoping that this would be enough to calm the raging monster. I ate the 6 cupcakes I bought from the bakery, but the monster continued to haunt me. I headed out again, this time to a a specialty burger shop. Before entering the shop, I called in an order for a pizza so that I could be ready once my burger was done. Now armed with an overloaded burger and a pizza, I made one more stop. At the Taco Bell drive through, I bought a steak quesadilla and bean burrito.

I came home, put in my Frasier DVD, sat on the floor, and ate. I was still full from the cupcakes, and felt stuffed by the time I finished the burger - it was a "Cleveland Style" burger, layered with cole slaw and fries, on a pretzel bun. But the compulsion kept urging me. So, I ate it all - the burger, the whole pizza, the burrito, the quesadilla. I was so stuffed that I couldn't move. So, I lay there on the floor and went to sleep.

I hope I didn't disgust you, and for those who struggle, I hope this didn't tempt you. I'm just hoping that sharing my secret shame will be a stepping stone on my path towards freedom. It's time for me to revisit some of those skills I learned when I was seeing a counselor.