Formerly Food Addicted #4 -Garbage Eating

Well, giving up sugary foods during Lent has been a challenge at times. Overall, my time spent in prayer is increasing, and that is the main purpose of this fast.

I will admit that it hasn't been perfect. There was that box of brownies, and that episode lead me to what is dubbed the "secret shame" in the video below.

Those who struggle with binge eating disorder/food addiction know all too well about the secret shame of garbage eating. It's when you've gotten so fed up with yourself in the midst of the binge, that you throw the food away in order to save yourself from further damage. You know - you bought 12 cupcakes, and after eating 10 of them (in addition to the other foods that were a part of the binge), you throw the last two away. Your hope is that by putting it in the trash, it will be off limits. But unfortunately, when the binge monster strikes again, you find yourself digging through the trash can, frantically searching for those 2 cupcakes as if they are you life source. It doesn't matter that they're buried in trash. You sit there, feeling helpless, and out of control. And you eat them, because it's the only way to get the monster to stop it's nagging.

I've been there so many times. I've never shared this with friends - before now - because it is so embarrassing. Still, I have hope.