Formerly Sedentary #2 - Learning to Swim

No, the title is not some metaphor for one of life's events. I am 34 years old, and I do not know how to swim.

It's not because I didn't want to know how to swim. I've never been afraid of the water, and always enjoyed the few times each summer my parents took me to the pool. But, I was never become one of those lucky self-taught swimmers. I tried to mimic the actions of those frolicking in the water around me, but never successfully. Both of my parents went through life without knowing how to swim, so they didn't see the need to enroll us in swimming lessons.

So here I am - I desperately want to know how to swim. I absolutely love being in the water. There is something so freeing about it. Swimming would also be a great activity post-injury. I took my first group swimming lesson about 4 years ago. I followed that up with months of private swim lessons. I eventually stopped those because I felt that my progress had stopped, and the cost of private swim lessons did not seem worth it anymore since no progress was being made. It seems that most swim instructors believe that the freestyle stroke is the first stroke that should be mastered before moving on to others. I could float, I had strong kicks. I was told that I perfectly executed my arms. But no matter how much I try or practice, I just can't get the hang of the breathing. I'm not a quitter, but I'm starting to believe that perhaps I just won't ever get the hang of freestyle. Maybe another stroke will work better for me. Oh, and let's not talk about how much I've practiced treading water to no avail. I left a couple instructors baffled as to why their techniques weren't working for me.

Since my initial attempt at learning to swim, I have tried more private and group lessons, hoping to find the instructor that would have the right words or trick to help me with whatever I am doing wrong. It's so embarrassing to be in a class with adults who are in their first group swimming lesson, and can tread water the first time they try...and I've been trying for years.

Monday was my first group lesson since my injury. When this session is over, I will probably try a few private lessons again, if I can find an instructor who is willing to work with me on something else besides freestyle. I'll keep you posted on my progress :-)

Formerly Afraid #1 - Afraid of What?

 There was a time when I was afraid of so many things. Now is the time to trade in my fear for a little bit of faith. I am already changing, and look forward to continued growth in these areas.

So what was I afraid of? So glad you asked!

Social interactions – The thought of going to an event that may require interacting with people I didn’t know used to be crippling. The easy way to deal with this was to avoid situations like this. I explained it away by saying that I was shy or a homebody.  But really, I was afraid. Simple things like eating in the break room when new to a job, or attending a party where I only know one person. They were terrifying experiences. The fear of what other people would think of me would overcome me. There were several times in the past when I would get dressed, in an attempt to go somewhere, only to chicken out as I was grabbing my keys to head out the door. I have come such a long way. I am not exactly a social butterfly now, but I do go places. And I even challenge myself to strike up a conversation every now and then.

Writing – As an elementary school student, I received recognition and won many awards for my writing. Somewhere along the way, I stopped making time to write. By the time I entered college, and then grad school, my life was consumed with academic writing. While cranking out paper after paper, I had no desire to do additional writing. This has led to my current struggle. The part of me that loves writing wrestles against the part of me that criticizes my skill – or lack thereof. I can’t help but ponder what kind of writer I could have become if I had never laid my pen down. What if I had continued to cultivate my craft through high school and college? Would I have been published by now? I have decided that rather than dwell on the what-ifs, I will just write. I am 34 years old. So in the grand scheme of things, there is still time to take classes and cultivate my skills as writer. That way I won’t be here 20 years from now, still wondering what if.

Cute guys – I know, I know. It’s crazy. I mean, of course I want to end up with a cute guy one day, so why would I be afraid of them? I remember a few years back when a friend was going to introduce me to a guy she knew from church. We were walking towards him, and the next thing I know, I was making my exit out the nearest door. It wasn’t until after she said to hello to him that my friend realized I was no longer next to her.  LOL. I could bore you with all the baggage from my past that fed this fear, but I won’t. I just know that it’s time to move on from this. The past year has been significant in that I have forced myself into situations that would require me to have small talk with men. And guess what? It didn’t kill me. As I have grown more secure in who I am in Christ, I don’t worry as much about what others think of me.

Let's grow!