Formerly a Sad Single #1 - Journey to Contentment

So why do I have a section titled "Formerly a sad single?" Well, I once viewed singleness as the bane of my existence. I thought God was punishing me, and was determined to figure out why. I'm still single today, but I am learning to – dare I say it – ENJOY my singleness.

My parents were married when they were in college, and I assumed I would have a similar story. So when I found myself with a Master’s degree, and no prospects of a husband, I felt lost. I had imagined that I would be starting my adult life as a married woman, and wasn't sure what to do with my single fate.

Friday nights consisted of listening to love songs, while crying into a pint of Haagen Dazs. Saturday nights were spent poring through the pages of bridal magazines, planning a wedding  that I could only pray would happen sooner than later. It was miserable to go day after day thinking about how no one had chosen me. No one deemed me good enough to be a wife. The thought of being single forever began to haunt me. I felt alone. I felt stuck - because after all, life didn’t really start until you met your life partner, right? 

Today, at age 34, my single life is different. I am enjoying my life. I am enjoying my friendships.  I am living. I still want to be married, and I definitely still have days when I cry out to God and ask “When?” But those are usually just fleeting moments. Most days I appreciate my single experience. I appreciate being able to manage/spend my money how I want without having to consider someone else. I love to cook. But, I appreciate the days when I can come home from work exhausted and have cereal for dinner, without anyone expecting me to produce a meal. In the winter time, I don’t feel the pressure to keep my legs shaved, because no one else sees them. :-) I can plan vacations on a whim. I can go wherever I want, whenever, without checking first with a spouse, and without worrying about securing a babysitter. See, there’s lots to enjoy about the single life.

There were a series of turning points that led me to where I am now. If I went into all of them, this post would be never ending. I will say that God was a part of each turning point that led me to a healthy view of my singleness. In future posts, I hope to encourage those who may be where I once was. I will also share my struggles and how I work through them.